Sunday, May 30, 2010

Get Real with God ~ Do You LIKE Your Children?

Do you like your children? My children are pretty much always with me. From the oldest, 15, to the youngest, 2, when I go somewhere, they go somewhere. Obviously there are times when my older children are out doing their own thing, but I have had plenty of opportunities for people to see me with my children in public. And without fail, especially if it’s during school hours, people want to talk about why my children are with me. Which leads me to mention homeschooling, which leads them to making (and saying) wrong assumptions about me and how wonderful I am, which leads them to tell me how they “could never DO THAT” and how “AWFUL” their children are. I’ve heard them talk that way about their teens and about their tots. And without fail, EVERY TIME, it makes me sad. Why is it that people don’t like their children? Why is it that people talk bad about their children to complete strangers? My children are far from perfect, but they are mine. They are a reflection of me and my husband and the way we’ve raised them. They are a testimony to God’s faithfulness and a sign of His blessing.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the Womb is a reward.” Psalm 127:3

So in a way, if I speak awfully about my children, I am really speaking awfully about myself. I am a strong believer in what we speak “over” our children is what they will become. Like how Adam named Eve and in giving her that name spoke “mother” over all of God’s female creation! That’s why our children have the names they do, because every time we say their name, we are “speaking” their name over them. My oldest daughter’s name means “delightsomeness.” And let me tell you, she is a delight!

When I was a young mom, I was completely scared to have teenagers, from all the stories I’d heard, from all the teens I knew…I thought my own children were destined to be the same way. But you know what? I really like my teens, I really enjoy them, their personalities, their pushing against the fence to see what and who they can be and become. In fact, I was just telling my husband the other day how I actually think they are easier than the younger set! And I’m being totally truthful here. :0)

Our words are powerful. What we speak over our children is what they are going to become. If you are always saying, “You are so naughty!” “You are so dumb!” “You are so disobedient!” “You are so strong-willed” “You have such a poor attention span.” “You are crazy wild!” Don’t be surprised if they become that way. But on the other hand if you speak life: “I am so proud of you when you obey quickly and with joy!” “I love the way you share.” “You are so smart!” “I can’t believe how long you can sit and pay attention!” You will enjoy the fruits of your speech and reap a child that will live up to those good expectations and grow into teens that will surprise the world and give you opportunity to share your faith and beliefs. The world doesn’t expect much from their children, but we can expect all that God expects: obedience, joy and blessing!

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26

Delight in your children, they are your legacy, a reflection of God’s love, and your most prized possession!


Angela said...

Thank you for this wonderful post. So many great reminders. Our children really our blessings from the Lord, those around us- should see and know that we truly believe that by our words and actions.

Debbie said...

I can definitely relate to this. I have only 3 children (2, 5, 8), but I get the same comments all the time, including the "when do you have time for yourself???" question--they either act like they think I'm a supermom (I'm not) or like they really feel sorry for me. I LOVE my kids being with me all the time! After all, they're growing so fast it's not going to last long, so I cherish each moment. I think people just expect their kids to be terrible and to be burdens, so they speak that into their lives from the time they're babies. It's so, so sad! My kids are my greatest blessings--treasures God has given me! Thanks for sharing this post--it's so very well put!

Danielle said...

I couldn't agree with you more!! One of my good friends and I were just having this conversation the other day. We MUST speak truth and life over and into our children. My sweet daughter is just 5 months old and the words of life have already begun. Thank you for this post!! May it speak to many! :)

Becky said...

What a wonderful post. I could not agree more. Thank you for sharing your heart and your love of the Lord.

Carrie said...

Yes, what a great reminder that we need to speak life and encouragement into our children - my son is two right now, and of course I love him, but honestly at times I do struggle to like him, when he's on a disobedient streak - but I bet speaking positively and praying over him would help. Thank you so much.

I was once in the grocery store with my MIL (a wonderful woman) and a lady commented on my then-baby son and said, 'Oh, they're so cute when they're little - too bad they have to grow up' (pointing to her sullen teenage son). My MIL looked at her and said, "Well, my boys are grown, and I still think they're pretty fun" or something similar. :) I always think of that now. :)

Unknown said...

after standing in a sizable line at a department store the other day and watching one incredibly impatient mother with her even more impatient children my husband and i began to discuss why that was. we decided that it was about how we (as parents) speak to our children and the manner in which we treat them. if we treat them with love and respect we will get that back 10 fold. our babies are so wonderful (no matter their age) i have to sometimes make sure that i appreciate that in as many moments as i can manage. thank you for writing this post. it is a very timely in our small partof the world.

cooperkelly4 said...

Yay! This is so true and such a good reminder. My daughter (she is my only girl, I have 3 more boys) and she just had her birthday and I was commenting what a joy she was (her name is Abigail, which means "father's joy." I love being able to speak life over my kids every time I say their name. =0)

Noelle said...

Thank you. This is an amazing post. I had two conversations with 2 different moms today at church about this topic. I have forwarded your post to many of my mom friends. Thanks again. Many blessings to you and your awesome kids!

Elaine Ng Friis said...

Thank you for this wise post. Would it be alright with you if I quote some of your positive words to speak to our children to my blog, and link it back to your blog?